Armin Navabi, the founder of the website Atheist Republic, is also author of the book Why There Is No God. At the back of his book, he relates his journey from harsh literalist Islam to atheism. At age 14 he attempted suicide because, based on what he had learned, he felt that this was the best strategy to avoid eternal damnation.
As a child in the theocratic Islamic Republic of Iran, governed by a harsh version of Shariah law, Armin learned a strict Islam. Hell, sin, and the devil loomed large in his mind. Sin was everywhere and he was taught that it was unavoidable. He feared for himself and he feared for his parents. He prayed out of fear.
He also learned, however, that Islam gave him a shortcut to paradise. According to what he learned, if a boy were to die before his 15th birthday, paradise would be guaranteed. His fear pushed him to come up with a plan.
After his 14th birthday, he began to plan his suicide. One day, he jumped from the top floor of his school. Instead of dying, he ended up with a broken wrist, two broken legs, an injured back and a lot of time to think during his long painful convalescence. He decided upon a path of atheism.
It might have been different, however, had Armin met the right Sufi at that critical moment. Had he, I imagine it might have gone like this:
An old man sweeping the hallway saw Armin looking out the window. The young man’s expression caused the old man to speak.
“Who is your god?” he asked.
“What? Who are you? Get out of here. Leave me alone.”
“I will not leave until you answer my question. Who is your god?”
Armin was silent. The old man had a presence and stood waiting. After ten or so minutes, Armin said “My god is Allah, who knows all. He knows every forbidden thought I have, every greedy action I take. Allah punishes us for our sins.”
“Is that all?”
“What do you mean?”
“Does your distant god have knowledge only of sins and is his only action punishment? It is a disgrace to make Him so small. Get a grip, mistaken one! Wake up! Come, sit down.” They sat on two boxes at the back of the room.
The old man asked “Do you know the 99 Names of God?”
“Yes” Armin replied.
“Well, do they have meaning? Do they have reality? Or are they just words?”
Armin said slowly, “I don’t know.”
“The Names show God’s Presence. They are how God interacts with the world. They are as real as real can be. Do you want to learn?”
Armin was silent again. He said to himself, I still have five months before my next birthday, why not? “OK, what’s your plan?”
“Why not start today with the great name of Rahman, compassion for all?”
They walked through the city. The old man directed Armin to look for compassion. A mother was happily walking with her children. A doctor was helping a sick woman into an ambulance. A perfect rose bloomed in a garden. A beetle scurried across the road. The sun shone on the grass, weeds and all.
As they walked along the river, a puppy suddenly fell into the water, struggling. Armin moved fast and scooped it up.
The old man asked “Quickly now, what do you feel in your heart?”
“Yes, I feel it” said Armin.
“And what about that man slapping his wife?”
“Cruel, ugly. How can God allow this?
“God is infinite. Attributes can expand and attributes can be delimited.”
“I will have to think about that one.”
“Let consider another name. “Latifa” has many meanings, let us take Beauty as one meaning. Just from where you are standing, where do you see beauty?”
“The clouds, the sky, the cracks in the sidewalk, the dust puffed above the road, the shimmer and illumination of so many forms. The markings on this incredibly interesting bug. The poetry of Hafez and Shabistari.”
“Not a bad answer. And did you know that philosophers argue about Beauty? Some claim it is an artifact of the human brain while others see it as a reality or a reflection of Reality. An interesting argument.”
“What do you feel when you think of the most beautiful thing you have ever seen?”
“Awe and wonder. And desire.”
So each day they talked and talked and chose another name. Names of beauty and majesty, love and power, creation and destruction. Armin came to see them all in the world and in his heart.
99 days passed and Armin had forgotten about suicide but he remembered God.
The Sufi interpretation of the 99 names of God were what first attracted me to Sufism. Of German heritage, I had left Christianity because of the Nazi holocaust. The killers were my people. How could there be a God? Tight, depressing atheism ensued.
My initial glimpse of a deeper understanding of God and the world came from the 99 names. In Sufism the 99 names represent God’s actions in the world. The names of mercy and beauty by far outnumber the names of power and destruction. However, God cannot be called good in the sense of God is nice. I can never expect my world to provide everything I want. Over time, life under these conditions would be not only boring but meaningless.
Our world is a swirl of good and bad, life and death. And as is said in the Bhagavad Gita, we all die.
But it is all from God. Our challenge is to purify ourselves of ego, anger, judgment, hatred, greed, and ignorance so we can see the reality of the moment and act righteously, no matter how horrible the circumstances. Coincidentally, such purification, assisted by meditation, is also the gate to higher consciousness. To me this is a model of the real world that works.
However, this Sufi model is different from the harsh Islam taught to Armin. Harsh Islam is based on fear. It fosters judgement of others and suppresses the gentle self-examination necessary for purification.